Why?

I was a Tuesday Girl -- hanging at the Chemo Bar with my fellow patrons.  Eight of us attached to our poles, the 'good' poison dripping.  Different cancers.  Different diagnosis.  Different ages.  Different backgrounds, men, women -- all united by this ugly, sh*tty cancer. 

Happened upon my friend "Bob" this week.  Bob had lymphoma.  I walked into the hospital cafeteria and there he was having lunch with his wife, laughing, looking good.  Our eyes caught.  Big smiles.  We are the only two left out of our Tuesday family of eight. 

"Take THAT cancer!" he said, as he fist pumped.

"Bob" and I had come a long way. 

He was a gruff and grumpy old dude when we started treatment.  Dragging my pole behind me, I would bring him warm blankies and coffee.  Told him corny jokes.  Whatever I could do to make him smile.  We saw each other through some tough days.  He gave me fatherly advice about life.  We were an odd couple. 

We didn't know WHY this had happened to us.  But we did know, we weren't going to waste any time trying to figure it out.  We were gonna kick a$$ and take names later.

It's been four years.  Those Tuesdays and those friendships aren't something I'll ever forget. 
Nor do I want to. 

Sometimes, sh*t happens. 
Sometimes there's no explaining it. 
Sometimes it will never make sense. 
Sometimes it just IS what it IS.

Sometimes it's just not worth the energy to figure out 'why.'
Why are "Bob" and I surviving?  Can't know, so:
Life is sweet.  Stay young, go dancing.

Uh.  Throat clearing.  Wiggling and stretching of fingers over the keyboard. 
H e l l o. 
Ummm.  Oh my gosh, here goes ...


I'm so excited, I can't stand it.  I'm writing.  And it's OUT there, for the whole world to see. 

Pencil stuck through my ponytail, tunes playing, coffee -- it's time.  Overdue actually. 

I can remember writing very creative short stories as early as third grade.  High school editor-in-chief then on to 'real' newspapers in Arizona, Nevada, California and Washington.  Sportswriter, courthouse-beat reporter, lifestyle editor, city news editor.  Can smell the ink, the rolls of newsprint.  Can hear the tickety-tap of the AP newswire bringing us the latest information. 

When words, emotion, and passion easily flow together -- it's, well, magic! 

Sure, I still have hopes of publishing that best-selling novel someday, BUT, for today, enter Facebook and Blogger. 

As some of you know, a few years ago, cancer shook me right to the core.  Now?  Every day I search for new ways to breathe, discover, dream, enjoy and celebrate -- ahh, the name of this blog.  :) 

What will you find in my blog?  Hopefully something that makes you smile.  Nah, not just a pretend smile -- I mean a real smile.  A smile that starts in your heart and lights up your eyes.  Hopefully you'll find something that inspires you and makes you think or possibly re-think.  Your return notes to my FB posts have been my encouragement to create this space of mine.  You have been my inspiration!  Thank you!

Beth, one of my best friends, recently asked me, "Don't you ever slow down?" 
Ummm, no.  As far back as I can remember, I've never been one to sit still for very long. 
But now, there's a different purpose in my motion. 
Yeah, we still gotta pay the bills, clean the toilet and go to the dentist ... but, if we do this right, we can live and breathe and dance
passionately. 

I hope you'll come back and visit soon.