Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Being in a relationship ...

Webster defines Relationship: A connection, association, or involvement.

Some of my 'summer vacation' personal discovery this year
has focused on relationships.

"In a Relationship" is a status on Facebook. 
Makes me chuckle.
Really? But aren't we all in relationships?

Partners & children.
Friends & family. Co-workers & peers.
The melding of lives.
Evolving. Growing together or growing apart.
Aging. Loving. Giving.
Life is all about 'being in relationships'.

Summer Epiphany: Rare is the relationship that isn't complicated.
Non-existent: A relationship that doesn't require tending,
that doesn't require energy.
All relationships that mean something to us,
should receive our attention and love. 

This should also include how we take care of ourselves,
emotionally and physically.

Unhealthy relationships: toxic & negative. 
Usually full of drama & emotionally draining.

Healthy relationships: refreshing, life-giving & positive.
Meet-in-the-middle, sharing, encouraging, loving.

Pretty clear in black and white, eh?
But, we all know every day life tends to be a tad more gray.

There are those in our lives we can't avoid, then what?
Still a work-in-progress, but, I've decided, if nothing else,
everyone deserves kindness.
I may not invest energy into the relationship,
but, you have my promise, at the very least, to be kind.

Oh, but wait, I'm not even to the best part yet ...
It took many years, (yes, and cancer), to realize:
No matter what, some relationships are just not going to work --
or not be what you'd like them to be.
And that's OKAY.
(Repeat the above paragraph about kindness).

Emotional battle scars, yup, we've all got them. 
Time to put a bandaid on them and move on.
Time and energy is precious --
spend it with those who bring you joy and love.
I've gotten pretty greedy with my time and how I want to enjoy life.
You should too.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Choice & Change ... or How I Spent My Summer Vacation

My little car was packed with all of my most favorite things.
Maps and music.  Apples and string cheese. 
Road trip.  Arizona or bust.

Looking forward to new choices and changes.
Making new memories with friends and family.
Desert sunsets of soul-warming oranges and majestic purples.
Sweet wines, sweet times, sweet sharing of conversation.
Yes, I was going, home.

Summer Lesson Number One:  Life is all about choice. 
Choice involves consequence ... good and bad.
Your choices affect others as well. 

Choice sometimes involves change.
Choice leads us to discovery, adventure and educates for future choices.

I am so thankful for having choices. 
There's no need to fear choice; there's no need for 'choice' to be final.

No need for a situation to be 'either/or' ... it can be 'also/and'. 
Many find making life choices difficult and daunting;
procrastinating for so long they miss the opportunity.  

Lesson Number Two: When you listen to your heart, you can't go wrong.
Trust that 'heart-gut feeling'. 
Even if the outcome is different than what you had hoped,
it was an experience you wanted and learned many things.

Deep sigh. So, here's the thing,
it's impossible to know how any future scenario will play out.
There are way too many variables ...
(houses that should sell, careers, changing relationships.)

During my extended summer vacation ...
I've enjoyed the desert, good conversations with friends and family.
I've spent valuable time with my parents.
I've found answers to some of my life questions.

Late Autumn -- nearly Winter.
With absolutely no regrets,
my little car will be packed with less of my favorite things.
Road trip.  Pacific Northwest or bust.
I'm returning home.

Isn't life strange?
but, isn't life grand?
Choices?  Listen to your heart.