2012: A New Year of Hope.

Nothing more exciting for a writer
than a blank page, an idea
and some sharp pencils.

The painter in me loves
a blank canvas and new colors.

This New Year is a big blank calendar
full of new opportunity and endless possibility.

I'm so excited to greet 2012 ...
as if I'm standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon.
Sunshine kissing my face.
Grinning wide at the challenge, filled with hope.

Hope for a year full of new beginnings,
new adventures, new experiences. 
Seems as soon as I place a 'check mark'
by one of my bucket list items,
I think of three new ideas to add.

Sleep didn't come easy, if at all,
while going through chemo.
I would quietly wander the house,
not wanting to wake anyone.

Three months into treatment,
with three more months to go.
Wrapped in a fleece blankie,
I rocked in my chair downstairs,
still dark, just before dawn,
bald, weak and very thin.
Sobbing until no more tears would fall.
The treatment was killing me. 
Hello wall.  I just can't do another treatment.

The next morning, my then 13-year-old son
made me his special waffles. 
My 20-year-old daughter
gave me my daily shot in the tummy.

How could I possibly look into their eyes
and tell them mom wasn't going to finish the treatment? 

That was the day I searched for Hope. 
Thankfully I found it, or it found me?
I began hoping for just one more day, one more sunrise.

I believe, even with just the teeniest bit of hope,
the human spirit can thrive.

As soon as I medically could, I had this tattoo
(see below) engraved on my foot.
I love being able to see it every day. 
It brings a smile to my face. 
And reminds me to breathe.

What will YOU do with
all the sunrises you are given this year?

Happy New Year.